


Bundle of Joy

by mithrel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blanket Permission, M/M, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-14
Updated: 2010-01-21
Packaged: 2017-10-31 00:58:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/338151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel's pregnant and no one knows quite how to deal with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bundle of Joy

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [You're What?](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/6866) by kijikun. 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean head to Bobby’s, and Castiel makes a nest.

Dean is still processing the whole “pregnancy” thing, and really, what the _fuck?_ Cas had been evasive in response to all his questions, like “How long will it last?” and “How are you going to deliver it?” and God, he can’t believe he’s even _thinking_ about this.

He’d sworn to himself that he’d never have a kid. He always used condoms, whatever Sam might say. OK, so he forgot with Lisa, but that was _once!_ He sure as hell hadn’t expected to have to worry about that with a guy.

He figures he’d better tell Sam. Although that conversation is likely to push the limits of bizarre, even for them. And he’s not doing it when Cas is around, since he’s so happy about the whole thing. Not that Dean’s not. Happy. He is…kind of…or he would be if it wasn’t the Apocalypse and the kid was half angel. Or would it be all angel? Or all human, since Cas was in a vessel? Dean groans, feeling one mother of a headache spreading behind his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Sam asks, looking up from his laptop.

Dean laughs. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me,” Sam replies.

“Cas is pregnant.”

Sam stares at him for a second, then laughs. “Very funny, dude.”

“Do I _look_ like I’m joking?” Dean snaps.

Sam stares some more. “But he’s a guy! I mean…”

Dean shrugs. “Apparently it doesn’t matter.”

“Oh. Um. Wow. Well…congratulations?” Sam offers.

Dean glares at him. “It’s the end of the world, Sammy, the devil’s after you, Michael’s after me and Cas is losing his grace! Do you _really_ want to bring a kid into this?”

“I don’t see that you have any choice, Dean. I mean, even if it's possible Cas won’t want an abortion…”

Despite himself Dean winces at the thought. “But I don’t know what’s going on! I don’t know how it happened or what to expect or anything!” He knows he’s whining, and he doesn’t care. He got an angel pregnant, he’s allowed.

“We can research?” Sam suggests tentatively.

Dean snorts. “Yeah, right. When you and Bobby were looking up angels before did you find anything about this?”

“Well, no…”

“So there probably _isn’t_ anything.”

“If it exists anywhere Bobby probably has a copy.”

Dean groans. “Great, so now I get to tell him I’m in a gay relationship with an angel and I got him pregnant.”

Sam smirks. “Guess so. Good luck with that.”

“Man, he’ll glare and bitch and call me an idjit!” Dean complains.

“Definitely.” And Dean should really do something to wipe the self-satisfied smirk off Sam’s face, but he’s too tired.

Dean sighs. “So I guess we’re heading to Bobby’s.”

***

When Dean suggested heading to Bobby’s, Cas had been willing enough, but he’s been quiet and withdrawn and Dean _still_ doesn’t know how the hell he got him pregnant in the first place, much less what happens now.

Dean tries to break the news to Bobby gently, a bit at a time. He sits him down with a glass of whisky and says, “So, me and Cas…” then stops, unable to say it.

Bobby sighs. “What’s he done now?”

“Well…um…it’s not what he’s ‘done’ so much as what he is.”

“What he is,” Bobby repeats flatly.

“Yeah.” Dean takes a long swallow of his drink. This is even harder than he thought.

“Other than an angel?” Bobby prompts.

“Yeah,” Dean croaks out. “You see, he…I mean we…that is…”

“Spit it out, idjit!”

“We’re together!” Dean blurts out, then winces, waiting for the explosion.

Bobby’s eyes narrow. “Like…together-together?”

Dean nods miserably.

Bobby sighs. “Boy, your life is ten kindsa screwed up, and I’ve known plenty of hunters, so, believe me, that’s sayin’ somethin’.”

“That’s not all,” Dean mutters, finishing his whisky and reaching for the bottle.

“There’s _more?_ ” Bobby had picked up his glass, but at that he sets it down again.

“Yeah. Cas, he’s…he’s pregnant.”

“Pregnant.”

Dean nods, wincing at the lack of expression in Bobby’s voice.

“As in birds-and-the-bees, when-a-man-and-a-woman-love-each-other-very-much pregnant?” Bobby asks.

“Yeah,” Dean mutters, staring at the table. There’s a burn mark near his glass.

“How the hell’d you manage that?” Bobby demands.

“I don’t know!” Dean snaps, looking up again. “He won’t tell me anything! All he said is that he’s pregnant and I can’t get anything more out of him!”

“Why weren’t you more careful?” Bobby demands.

Dean gapes at him. “Oh, come on! I’m clean, and I know Cas doesn’t have any STDs, so there was no reason to use a condom!”

Bobby winces. “Too much information!”

“Sorry,” Dean says sheepishly. “Anyway, we thought if anyone had information about this it’d be you, so we came here.”

“Why not just ask _him?_ ”

“I told you, he’s not telling me anything. For all I know he’s as clueless as I am, but I really hope not!”

Bobby shakes his head, sighs and wheels away from the table. “OK. Break out the books.”

***

Three days later Dean and Bobby hadn’t found anything in their research, and Dean was adamant that he wasn’t asking Cas, so Sam decides to do it for him.

He goes looking for Cas, and finds him in the living room, but any questions he has are driven out of his mind by the utterly bizarre scene in front of him.

Cas has cleared a space on the floor and filled it with all kinds of soft things: pillows, blankets, a couple of Dean’s shirts, Sam’s hoodie. He’s not wearing his trenchcoat and Sam spots it on the pile.

“What are you doing?” Sam asks, as Cas pours a bag of cotton balls on the pile, followed by ace bandages and gauze.

Cas appears to notice him for the first time, and actually looks…sheepish. “I’m…not certain.”

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were building a nest.”

At that, Cas looks thoughtful. “You may be right.”

Sam waves a hand at the pile on the floor. “What is all this, Cas? How did this even happen? What happens now?”

Cas stares at the floor. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean _you don’t know?_ ”

Cas sighs and sits down on the couch. “Long ago there were not many fledglings born; only those who were deeply in love had offspring. Then the wars came, and many angels fell. More warriors were needed, so more warriors reproduced and there were many fledglings. Not many survived.”

“So, what, now they don’t talk about it?”

Cas nods. “I was one of the last fledglings to be born.”

It’s Sam’s turn to sigh. Cas is like a girl raised in a religious family, abstinent before marriage, who let her boyfriend persuade her to have sex and now has no clue how to deal with the consequences. Actually, that analogy’s not far off. No wonder he’d been evasive with Dean. The last thing he’d want is to admit he was just as clueless as Dean was.

“We haven’t found anything in the books.”

“No, and I doubt you will.”

“Look, Cas, we’ll…we’ll deal with it, OK?”

Cas nods. “Don’t tell Dean?” he pleads.

“Promise.”

***

The next morning Sam’s bringing his breakfast over to the table when Gabriel appears.

“ _Jesus!_ ” Sam yells, dropping his oatmeal on the floor. The bowl shatters and it goes everywhere.

“Language, Sammy,” Gabriel tuts.

“What are you _doing_ here?” Sam demands, trying to get his heartrate under control.

“Cas called us,” Anna says, entering the kitchen in a more normal fashion. “And, honestly, Gabriel, not everything has to be so dramatic.”

Gabriel sticks his tongue out at her.

“Wait, I thought the angels captured you,” Sam protests. “And you shouldn’t even be able to be in here! We’ve got wards up!” The only reason Cas can be here is the fact that he’s the one who set the wards in the first place.

“The wards don’t work against me; I’m not entirely an angel anymore. I pulled Anna in with me,” Gabriel explains, as Anna looks at the oatmeal and the bowl is suddenly whole on the table.

Sam tastes it cautiously. It seems fine. “But how’d you get away?” he asks Anna.

“I sprung her,” Gabriel says.

“ _Why?_ ” Gabriel never did anything without an ulterior motive.

“Zachariah needed to be taken down a peg. Besides, I know how it is, wanting to leave.”

Castiel comes into the kitchen just then and stops when he sees them. “Gabriel. Thank you for coming.”

“Like I wouldn’t,” Gabriel replies, actually sounding offended. “But Dean really needs to learn to keep it in his pants.”

Anna approaches Castiel and puts her hand on his forehead. “There’s some strain on your vessel, but it’s not too bad yet. And the baby seems healthy so far.”

“What do you mean?” Sam asks.

“This has never happened before. Angels are usually not envesseled when they’re pregnant. And there has _never_ been a half-mortal, half-angel child before.”

“What about the Nephilim?”

Gabriel snorts. “Another thing the Bible got wrong. The Nephilim were giants, but they were descended from the other men God created, not fallen angels.”

“Other men?” Sam repeats, his brow furrowing.

Gabriel snorts again. “You didn’t think Adam and Eve were the only ones he created, did you? You know enough about genetics to know that wouldn’t work. The others just weren’t mentioned.”

Sam processes that revelation for a moment. “If it’s never happened before, why did it now? It’s a biological impossibility!”

“For humans, maybe. Not for angels. You’ve seen the mark on Dean’s shoulder, right?”

Sam nods cautiously.

“That’s a soul-brand,” Anna continues.

“Wait, he marked Dean’s _soul?_ ”

“I did not mean to,” Castiel mutters.

“When he pulled him out of Hell, yes. He essentially bound them together permanently. When they started having sex, the bond was consummated,”

As Sam tries not to think about the word ‘consummated,’ Anna turns back to Castiel. “Have you started nesting yet?”

Castiel coughs. “Yes.”

He leaves the kitchen, and Anna and Gabriel follow him. Sam trails after them.

In the living room, he finds them looking at the nest. Gabriel nods slowly. “This will work. You did good, bro.”

Castiel looks pleased.

“Do you want us to stay until after it hatches?” Anna asks, and Castiel nods.

“Please.”

“Wait, _hatches?_ ” Sam repeats.

“This is a nest, isn’t it?” Gabriel retorts. “Why’d you think he was making it?”

“But–”

“In a week or so there will be an egg. A few weeks later it will hatch,” Anna explains.

“Wait, he’s going to _lay an egg?!_ ”

“Basically, yeah,” Gabriel smirks.

“I’m…leaving now,” Sam announces slowly, and walks out before his brain explodes.

***

About an hour later he hears, “What the _hell_ is this?”

He goes into the living room to find Bobby trying to clean up.

“Leave it alone!” Gabriel snaps.

“He raided my first aid kit!” Bobby complains.

“Leave. It. Alone,” Gabriel repeats dangerously.

Bobby puts down the blanket, then demands, “What are you doing here anyway? How’d you even get in?”

“They’re here to help Cas,” Sam puts in. “They’ll behave.”

Bobby glowers at him, and Gabriel pouts.

“Would you rather we try to deal with this ourselves?” Sam asks reasonably.

Bobby scowls again. “You have a point.”

“And they’ll behave," Sam repeats.

“But–” Gabriel protests this time.

“ _Won’t_ you?” Sam shoots at Gabriel, daring him to say no.

“He’ll behave,” Anna says, smacking Gabriel.

He scowls at her, rubbing his head, but nods.

***

Sam’s on his way to the kitchen when he looks into the living room to see Gabriel standing there and looking at the nest with a wistful look on his face.

“What’s up?” Sam asks, coming into the room.

“Nothing,” Gabriel protests, and when Sam gives him a Look, he continues, “It’s just…usually there are four or five fledglings at once. He’ll be lonely.”

Sam shrugs. “Well, there’s not much we can do, unless you and Anna have one.”

Gabriel snorts at that, then looks at him speculatively.

Sam pales. “Oh _hell_ no! No _way!_ ”

“Why not?” Gabriel pouts.

“Because, first of all, I’m not into guys,” Sam says, ticking the points off on his fingers. “Second, I don’t want a kid. Third, I don’t want to be ‘bonded to you permanently.’”

“It doesn’t have to be permanent…” Gabriel begins.

“No,” Sam says flatly, and leaves.

***

In due course Castiel…laid the egg. It’s faintly blue, like a robin’s egg, but bigger than an ostrich egg. After that he stayed in the living room. Dean’s been avoiding him, since, as he confesses to Sam, “The whole thing is just too weird.”

Bobby has washed his hands of all of them, saying, “I’m a hunter, not a nursery school teacher. Winchesters and angels and Tricksters, my house’s been invaded by lunatics.”

Anna and Gabriel are still there, and they spend some time talking to Castiel. Every time Dean passes the living room, his eyes fixed forward, Castiel’s face falls.

“He’ll come around,” Sam reassures him the last time this happens.

“You really think so?”

“Sure. He loves you, he’d walk through fire for you. It’s just this whole thing that’s got him weirded out.”

“If he does not want the baby…” Castiel starts.

“He might not have wanted to have it, but now that it’s happened, he wants it, believe me. It’s just the…process is a little unorthodox.”

Cas nods, looking somewhat reassured.

***

A few days after that Sam hears Cas call, “Dean!”

He and Dean both hurry into the living room. Gabriel, Cas and Anna are already there. Bobby comes wheeling in from the kitchen.

There’s a long crack running vertically through the egg, and as they watch it opens, then closes again. A piece flakes off. There’s another heave, and smaller cracks split off from the first.

Ten minutes later there’s a large hole in the egg, and five minutes after that the baby is out.

Anna picks it up and dries it with a towel. It looks like a normal human baby, but it has wet wings pressed to its back. She wraps it in a blanket and hands it to Castiel, who takes it with a look of awe. “It’s a girl.”

“I don’t know if these wings are permanent, or if she can shift into full angel shape…” Anna continues.

“I hope not, I like my eyes the way they are,” Dean puts in.

“...but she seems healthy. She’ll probably age faster than full-human babies, but it will still be several years before she’s fully-grown.”

Castiel hands her to Dean, who takes her and holds her, supporting her head. She grabs hold of his shirt, and he swallows.

“What are you going to call her?” Sam asks.

Dean looks blankly at the baby. “I dunno.”

“What about Mary?” Castiel suggests.

“Mary Evangeline,” adds Anna.

Dean considers a moment. “I like that. Mary Evangeline Winchester.”

***

Over the next few weeks Dean and Cas take care of her. Dean’s good with her, and Sam supposes he shouldn’t be surprised; after all Dean took care of _him._ Cas is out of his depth, but Dean’s teaching him, and he’s trying hard. Sam helps out when he can.

Her first word was “De,” and the look on his brother’s face was priceless. Soon after that she said, “Ca,” and Castiel looked like God himself had just told him he’d done good.

She still hasn’t called Sam anything but “Bbblppf,” and Bobby and Anna don’t get even that, but one day at breakfast she looks up from her oatmeal and says “Gay!” Gabriel looks like someone hit him in the back of the head with a board, but it quickly transforms to smugness, while Dean looks like he wants to murder something.

When Dean and Cas want to go out, Sam babysits, and occasionally Anna and Bobby do. Dean won’t let Gabriel within a mile of Mary, but he helps Sam without Dean knowing about it.

And he’s good with her, swinging her through the air and bouncing her on his knee and playing peek-a-boo. But whenever he looks at her he gets that same wistful look on his face and sneaks glances at Sam, and Sam feels guilty, because Gabriel would be a good father, and it’s not like he can have a kid with any of the other angels. But he doesn’t want a kid. Not now, not with everything happening.

***

They’ve been at Bobby’s for a few months. Mary's about the size of a six-month old. Dean is carrying her into the bedroom to put her down for a nap when he runs into Gabriel rummaging in the linen closet.

“What are you doing?” he demands.

Gabriel closes the door. “Nothing,” he says haughtily and flounces off.

Dean goes into the living room, and, sure enough, there’s a pile of clothes on the floor. He stares.

Sam passes by just then, and Dean says, “Dude, tell me you didn’t!”

“What?” Then Sam catches sight of the nest. He flushes. “Um…”

“What the hell, Sam?!” As if one baby isn’t enough, with their life…

“It’s not my fault!” Sam complains. “He forced me into it!”

Dean rolls his eyes. He can’t deal with this right now. “Yeah, you know what, whatever,” he says and goes to put Mary down for her nap.


	2. Breaking Down and Building Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The development of Gabriel and Sam’s relationship.

Sam came back from the bathroom to see Gabriel rocking Mary against his shoulder, singing “Hush Little Baby.”

“Shh,” he said when he saw Sam. “She’s asleep.”

Sam nodded, trying not to let the picture affect him.

Gabriel took Mary into the bedroom and set her down in the crib, tucking the blanket around her. He closed the door softly.

“You’re…really good with her,” Sam said awkwardly.

“It’s not the first time I’ve raised a fledgling,” Gabriel replied flatly.

“You had…”

Gabriel shook his head. “No, he wasn’t mine.”

Sam hesitated at the pain in Gabriel’s voice. “What happened to him?”

“He died,” Gabriel said, his lips compressed into a thin line.

“I’m…sorry,” Sam said, wishing he’d never opened his mouth.

“Not your fault,” Gabriel said shortly, and left.

***

After that Gabriel didn’t take care of Mary, didn’t even look at her. Sam felt guilty as hell reminding him of something like that, even though there was no way he could have known.

He let Gabriel brood for a week, then when Cas and Dean left Mary with him to go to a movie he approached Gabriel.

“I could use your help.”

Gabriel snorted. “Why would you want _my_ help?”

“Please?”

Gabriel looked at him, his face stony, but Mary held her arms out to him and he sighed and took her. Sam breathed an inaudible sigh of relief.

***

Gabriel hadn’t brought up having a baby again since that day before Mary was born, but Sam knew he was still thinking about it. So was he, if he was honest with himself.

Sam had always wanted a family, but that had been part of his desire for a normal life: a nine to five job, a wife, 2.5 kids, white picket fence, the whole nine yards. On some level he’d always known he couldn’t have it, but that just made him pursue it more intently.

He couldn’t ever have a family, even if there wasn’t an Apocalypse going on, he’d resigned himself to that fact. But now he’d been given the chance to have a family, a family with someone who understood his life...

But he couldn’t. It was still too dangerous. He wasn’t even sure he trusted Gabriel, and if they were raising a child together he needed to. And Gabriel wanted a child so much he wasn’t sure how much of a role he was willing to let Sam play in raising it.

No, he couldn’t do it.

***

Dean and Cas had gone out for a few minutes and told Sam to watch Mary. He didn’t really have to do anything, since they wouldn’t be gone long.

Half an hour later they were back, and Sam handed Mary to Cas.

Gabriel had been hovering in the background, and when Dean and Cas were gone he came over to Sam.

“Sam, I…know you said no before, and I don’t want to pressure…but it’s my only chance to…”

Sam sighed. “It wouldn’t be a good idea, with the Apocalypse. I don’t know if you’d be welcome back in Heaven, and a half-mortal child most likely won’t be.”

Gabriel sighed too, and nodded. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

***

Sam couldn’t think anymore. He was to the point where he was actually seriously considering having a child with Gabriel, despite the fact that he knew better.

He had to talk to Gabriel. It might not be a good idea, given the delicate nature of the subject, but there was no one else he could talk to so he went looking for him anyway.

Gabriel had been avoiding him unless he was babysitting, and Sam could understand that. He found him in the kitchen, and asked, “Can I talk to you?”

Gabriel nodded, cautiously.

Sam took a breath and collected his thoughts. “When I was growing up, I always wanted a family, even though I knew it couldn’t happen. The first thing Dad drilled into us, after ‘Don’t tell anyone what we do,’ was ‘If you have to have sex, for God’s sake make sure you don’t get anyone pregnant.’”

Sam sighed. “Hunting’s not a hereditary profession; people you care about are a weakness. Dad sometimes had problems because he was protecting us. So I can’t have a family, especially now that the Apocalypse is going on.”

Gabriel nodded. “You don’t have to explain it to me, I get it–”

“But you don’t,” Sam cut him off. “I still _want_ a family, and I’d…be willing to have one with you if…”

“I’m not going to do it if you’re just–” Gabriel started angrily.

“I’m not!” Sam protested.

“Yes you are! You’re not attracted to me; you certainly don’t _love_ me. You don’t even _trust_ me, not really! I know I can’t have you, and I won’t let you use me like that!”

Sam stared as Gabriel stormed out of the kitchen. _‘I know I can’t have you’? But that sounds like…oh,_ fuck.

Gabriel was in love with him. Or, if not in love, at least he cared about him. Cas was doing fine taking care of Mary now, and Anna was still here. Gabriel could leave.

That thought filled him with panic for some reason. He couldn’t talk to Bobby or Dean about this, and he didn’t know Anna that well, so he went to find Cas.

***

“And then he said ‘I know I can’t have you, and I won’t let you use me like that,’” Sam finished. “What if he leaves?”

Cas looked up from where he was giving Mary her bottle. “He won’t leave.”

“But how do you _know?_ ”

“The reproductive instinct in angels is strong once it’s aroused. The instinct to pair-bond is strong in any case, which is probably why Gabriel didn’t even consider mating with Anna; he’d already chosen you. He won’t leave.”

“But he won’t even speak to me after this!”

Cas nodded thoughtfully. “The first thing is to persuade him that you trust him. You do, don’t you?”

Sam thought about it. “Yeah, I…do. He’s been different since he’s been here.”

“The presence of a fledgling has reminded him of what he was. There is very little Trickster in him anymore. You’ve been letting him help you with Mary…”

“You knew about that?” Sam demanded.

Castiel gave him what, in anyone else, he’d describe as a Look. “Of course. Dean doesn’t; he still thinks Gabriel is untrustworthy, and nothing I can say will persuade him otherwise.”

Sam smiled at that. “Yeah, Dean’s stubborn.”

“As I was saying, you’ve been letting him help you with Mary, despite what Dean would do to you if he found out. Once he thinks about it, he will realize that you do trust him.”

“But the rest of it…”

Cas frowned. “Are you attracted to him?”

“No!” But he wasn’t sure, if he was honest. There had always been something…compelling about Gabriel, even when Sam thought he was just a janitor. “And I don’t love him either.”

“Then he won’t mate with you, however strong the instinct. Angels value fledglings above nearly everything else, and if there is no love they will not have one.”

Sam sighed. “Maybe it’s better to forget the whole thing.”

***

He hunted up Gabriel after that. Before he could even open his mouth Gabriel snapped, “What the hell do you want?”

Sam winced. “Look I’m…sorry about before. Maybe it’s better if we forget it.”

Gabriel glared at him. “You can forget it if you want,” and stalked off.

***

Gabriel avoided him in earnest after that, leaving the room when Sam entered. It got to the point where even Dean noticed.

“Dude, what’s up with him?” he asked Sam, as Gabriel stomped out of the living room. “Did you two have a lovers’ quarrel?”

“Shut the hell up, Dean!” Sam snapped.

Dean raised his hands. “Dude, I was joking, don’t bite my head off!”

“Sorry.”

“Never mind him, what’s up with _you?_ ” Dean asked.

Sam sighed. “It’s complicated.”

“When is our life ever simple?” Dean shot back.

Sam shook his head, granting the point. “Look, it’s something I have to deal with on my own, OK?”

Dean nodded reluctantly. “If you say so.”

***

Sam was at a complete loss as to what to do. Gabriel still wasn’t speaking to him, and that hurt more than he’d expected.

Finally he cornered him. “We need to talk.”

Gabriel glared. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Tough shit,” Sam snapped. “I’m not going to bring up the baby thing again; it’s obviously not a good idea…”

“Obviously,” Gabriel muttered.

This time Sam glared. “Look, I’m sorry you’re disappointed, and I’m sorry you’re–” he cut off at Gabriel’s flinch. “I don’t want to fight with you. Can’t we at least be civil?”

Gabriel sighed. “Fine.”

Sam hesitated. “I really am sorry–”

“I don’t want your pity,” Gabriel cut him off, and Sam nodded.

***

After that things were easier, but Gabriel was acting like he had when he was the Trickster, flippant and obnoxious. Sam got the feeling that he regretted being so open, trusting Sam with his real self, and he was retreating into a more comfortable persona. He missed Gabriel, the way he was before, and wished he hadn’t screwed things up.

It was even worse because Sam realized now that he _did_ care about Gabriel. He wasn’t in love with him, but the thought of him leaving, that he would never see him again, had terrified him. And Gabriel was making him miserable with the way he was acting now.

“Will you _stop it?_ ” he complained one day.

Gabriel looked over at him from where he was pulling things out of the refrigerator, a smirk on his face. Sam hadn’t noticed when he’d stopped smirking, but now that it was back it grated. It made his face ugly. “Stop what?”

“Look, I get it, you made yourself vulnerable and now you regret it, but you don’t have to be obnoxious all the time!”

Gabriel’s face hardened. “What if I want to?”

“You don’t. The Trickster personality was a defense mechanism.”

“And since when are you a psychologist, _Sammy?_ ”

Sam snorted. “I live with Dean. I had firsthand experience with most of the stuff they covered in Psych 101.”

Gabriel shook his head angrily.

“I miss you,” Sam said, walking over to him. Gabriel’s eyes narrowed, and he backed away until he hit the counter.

“I’m still here,” he said, his eyes darting from side to side.

“No. You’re not. The Trickster is here. Gabriel’s gone.”

“Maybe he should never have come back in the first place,” Gabriel muttered.

“I’m glad he did.” Sam reached up and touched Gabriel’s face. Gabriel shuddered, a look of naked longing on his face for one moment, then pushed past him, leaving the kitchen so fast he might have snapped his fingers and vanished.

***

After a lot of thinking, Sam finally made a decision. He did care about Gabriel, and he did want a family. But he was fairly sure there was no way he could get Gabriel to agree. Still, he approached him again, cautiously. “Do you still want to have a baby?”

Gabriel hesitated a moment, then nodded, his eyes shadowed. “Yeah.”

Sam hesitated. “Do…you still want to have one with me?”

Gabriel’s breath hitched, and he nodded again. “But–”

“Then let’s do it.”

Gabriel’s face contorted in an expression of anger, longing and despair. “Sam, this isn’t something to enter into lightly.”

“You think I don’t _know_ that? You think I haven’t thought about this?”

“I don’t want to do it just because you…”

“I don’t,” Sam cut him off, trying to put every ounce of conviction possible into his voice. “I don’t pity you, and I’m not using you.”

Gabriel hesitated, visibly torn, but finally he nodded. “OK.”

Sam raised his eyebrows. He really hadn’t expected Gabriel to agree, not this easily. “So…what do we do?”

“First I need to mark you, so there’s a bond.”

Sam flinched.

“It won’t be permanent!” Gabriel said quickly. “Just until...”

Sam nodded. “OK.”

Gabriel went into the bedroom he was using and Sam followed him.

“Where will you…”

“It needs to be somewhere people won’t see. Take off your shirt.”

Sam gulped, a flicker of something going through him at the order. He stripped off his overshirt and tee and stood there.

Gabriel looked at him appreciatively for a moment, and Sam shivered again. “Lie down on the bed. On your back.”

Sam did.

Gabriel walked over to him. “This will hurt. I’m sorry.”

Sam nodded, gritting his teeth, and picked up the pillow to hold over his face.

Gabriel laid his hand on the center of Sam’s chest, directly over the heart. His skin was warm.

And then it was a great deal more than warm. Even though he’d braced himself Sam still screamed into the pillow as Gabriel seared into his flesh.

It only lasted a moment. He lay there gasping in the aftermath. There was no charred smell, no oozing, nothing but a red scar on his chest. He poked it cautiously, and winced as a needle of agony shot through him.

“It will be sensitive for awhile,” Gabriel told him.

Sam nodded and got up, wincing again as his shirt scraped against the mark.

He looked awkwardly at Gabriel, not sure what to do now, and ended up muttering something unintelligible and leaving.

***

Sam was getting flashes of feelings that weren’t his. At first he thought he was going crazy, but then he realized that the bond somehow let him sense Gabriel’s emotions. He wondered if that was why Dean could always read Cas better than he could.

And what he was sensing made him feel like an utter shit. Resignation, fruitless longing, despair… The worst was the _love,_ and yes it was definitely love, but raw and sharp-edged, mixed with bitterness; and the sense that at least if they did this Sam would have to stick around for awhile.

Sam tried to tell Gabriel he was wrong, that it wasn’t like that, but either the bond didn’t go both ways or Gabriel was shutting him out, not wanting to feel Sam’s contempt, or his pity, or whatever it was Gabriel thought he felt for him.

A week after Gabriel had set the bond in place he came up to Sam after dinner. “Tonight, do you want to…?”

Sam gulped and nodded, ignoring the spike of nervousness, and something else, that flashed through his system. “Yeah.”

***

That night Gabriel came into his room. Sam hadn’t gone to bed, and he got up to meet him. “What do we…?”

For answer, Gabriel took Sam’s chin in his hand and kissed him.

Sam started. They didn’t need to do this, but oddly enough it put him at ease. Kissing he could do.

And Gabriel was good, which made sense given the fact that he’d been kicking around on Earth for God-knew-how-long. The kiss started tentative, as if Gabriel wasn’t sure of his welcome, but when Sam kissed back he quickly took control of it, pushing his tongue into Sam’s mouth, biting his lip.

The longing was back, overwhelming Sam’s mind, and with it a sense that Gabriel was going to take everything Sam gave him because he’d never have this again. That made Sam angry, and he pulled away from Gabriel, running his hands under his shirt. Gabriel lifted his arms and Sam cast the shirt aside.

Sam didn’t get a chance to look at him, since the moment his shirt was off Gabriel was back, sucking on his pulse point and licking behind his ear. Sam felt his body start to take notice. Maybe he could do this after all.

Then Gabriel’s hands were everywhere, pushing his overshirt down his arms, snaking under his tee and pulling it off, and as he undressed him he pushed Sam backwards toward the bed.

A brief flicker of panic went through Sam as Gabriel shoved him down, but the feel of Gabriel’s chest against his chased it away.

Gabriel was hard against him, and Sam wasn’t far behind. He wondered why, briefly; he’d never been into guys before. Was it the bond, or what Gabriel was doing, or Gabriel himself?

But Gabriel had moved down to suck on his chest, and when he licked over the mark Sam shot up off the bed and moaned.

Gabriel looked at him then. “If we’re going to do this, you have to fuck me.”

Sam closed his eyes at the words. He’d figured that, of course, and he supposed it would be easier than the reverse, but now…now he _wanted_ it, _needed_ it. “OK.”

Gabriel rolled over so that Sam was on top of him. “Do I need to…?” Sam asked hesitantly. He’d never done this before, but he knew there had to be stretching involved for it to work.

Gabriel shook his head. “Just…do it.”

Sam frowned, but hesitantly lined his cock up with Gabriel’s ass and pushed in. It went easily, and a moment later he was fully seated.

He waited for a moment, breathing raggedly. He hadn’t gotten laid since…well, since Ruby, but he didn’t want to think about that now. Gabriel’s hands twitched on his hips, and he remembered what he was doing.

He pulled out, slightly, and pushed back in, and Gabriel moaned. He was going to have to go slow or he’d come right away, and somehow he didn’t want that. He wasn’t sensing anything from Gabriel anymore, but the desperate grip on his hips was enough.

He pulled out all the way and thrust in, a moan tearing its way out of his own throat. Gabriel’s hands moved from his hips, roaming over his back and sides. He was biting his lip, determinedly silent, but his eyes bored into Sam’s.

As Sam’s thrusts grew more ragged Gabriel pressed a hand against the brand on his chest, Sam felt a jolt through his entire system, intensifying the pleasure, and almost without realizing it he was coming.

Gabriel shuddered and whispered, “ _Sam,_ ” and warm wetness coated his stomach.

Sam pulled out of Gabriel after a long moment, almost reluctantly. He turned to look at him. “Did it…take?”

The archangel’s face was shuttered, but Sam could feel his indecision. “Yeah,” he sighed eventually. “It took.”

Sam nodded. “So I…I guess you can remove the bond now.”

The anguish that lanced through him at that closed his throat momentarily, but Gabriel nodded and reached for his chest.

Sam caught his wrist. “Wait. You don’t have to. Remove it yet, I mean.”

Gabriel stared at him, eyes wide, wary hope flickering across his expression.

Sam kissed him then, long and slow, until all the sharp edges and bitterness had faded and Gabriel kissed him back.


	3. Uncertain Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re left with an impossible choice

Sam glared up at the ceiling. “Jessica Ellen, you come down here right now!”

His daughter stuck her tongue out at him. “Won’t!” she said and went back to circling the light fixture.

Gabriel came into the room, took in the scene, smirked, and floated up to the ceiling to retrieve her. “What did we say about flying in the house?”

Jess pouted.

“I’m thinking of investing in a lasso,” Sam sighed, as Gabriel handed her back to him. “This is getting ridiculous.”

Mary was fairly docile; a model child. It must be Cas’ influence, since Dean had been an unholy terror when he was younger with everyone but Dad. But Jess seemed to have inherited Gabriel’s disregard for rules and his penchant for mischief. Besides flying in the house, she had a tendency to make her vegetables disappear, or else turned them into sweets. Sam wondered sometimes if she’d gotten anything from him.

Bobby wheeled out then. “What the hell’s goin’– _oof!_ ” he complained as Jess catapulted herself from Sam’s arms to his lap with a shriek.

“UncleBobbyUncleBobbyUncleBobby!”

Bobby gave Sam a disgusted look, then returned her hug. “Yeah, yeah, love you too kid. Even if your daddies are idjits.”

Sam stifled a snicker. Bobby had been none too happy about having his house invaded, but he doted on Mary and Jess, for all that he’d deny it.

“Anyway, dinner’s ready, so get your asses in here.”

Sam and Gabriel headed into the kitchen, where there were two highchairs set up. Sam put Jess in her highchair. Mary was already in hers.

He wasn’t sure how old they were. Both of them were talking like children two or three years old. Mary looked about a year old and Jess looked about six months. Assuming they survived the Apocalypse, they’d have to homeschool them, since between the wings, the accelerated growth and the unusual proficiency with language the teachers would notice.

Which meant Sam would have to do it, since Dean was still legally dead, Cas didn’t know anything about humanity, and nothing Gabriel knew was appropriate for teaching children. Which meant certification, inspections and God only knew what else, which would be a pain with their moving so much.

He comforted himself with the fact that they might all die soon anyway.

Anna had left a couple months ago, saying that having her, Cas and Gabriel in the same house, even with the wards, was too dangerous, and that she’d keep in touch. They had stayed at Bobby’s for as long as they could, and needed to leave soon themselves.

They were left with an impossible choice. Leave the girls with Bobby, and possibly Gabriel, while they went off into a situation likely to get them killed, or take the girls with them into danger. They’d spent a long time discussing it when the girls had gone to bed.

***

“We cannot take them into danger,” Castiel said.

“But we can’t leave them here with Bobby, either,” Sam protested. Sure, Bobby had looked after them when they were kids and their dad was going to be away for longer than a couple of weeks, but that had been more than twenty years ago, and he’d been able to walk. Not to mention, they hadn’t had angelic abilities.

“Who says?” Bobby snapped. “Not like I can do anything else useful!”

Sam squirmed, and Dean sighed. “OK, we’ll leave them with you,” he said reluctantly.

“Cas and I can check in occasionally,” Gabriel put in. “So you’ll know what’s going on.”

Bobby nodded.

***

Sam shook himself out of his thoughts to see that he’d eaten all his food without tasting it. Everyone else seemed to be finishing up, so he got up from the table.

They took turns between helping Bobby clean up and putting the kids to bed. Tonight Dean and Cas started clearing the table, and Sam and Gabriel took Mary and Jess to put them to bed.

They had a room between Sam and Dean’s so that if they needed anything they had four people nearby. Jess was rubbing her eyes, mostly asleep already. Sam looked at Gabriel tucking her in and a surge of fondness went through him, mixed with anxiety, and not just for her.

Gabriel didn’t say anything, but he put a hand on Sam’s shoulder and squeezed. Sam sighed.

“Uncle Sammy,” Mary said.

“What, kitten?” he asked.

“Are you going away?”

Sam tensed, trying not to show it. They hadn’t told either of the girls about their plan yet; they hadn’t wanted to scare them. “What makes you think that?”

“I heard Daddy talking to Uncle Bobby.”

‘Daddy’ was Dean. Sam sighed. “Yes, we have to go away for awhile.”

“When will you be back?”

Sam shot an anguished look at Gabriel. “I don’t know, kitten, but we will come back,” he said, praying he wasn’t lying to her. “And Papa and Uncle Gabe will visit sometimes.”

“I don’t want you to go,” she said, her eyes filling with tears.

Sam looked helplessly at Gabriel.

“We don’t want to go either, kitten. But there’s something important we have to do. People will get hurt if we don’t.”

Mary still looked upset, but nodded.

“Can you do something for me, kitten?” Sam asked.

“What?”

“Look after Jess. She’s still little, and Uncle Bobby will need your help.”

She nodded, as resolute as Dean had ever been. “OK.”

Sam smiled despite himself. “Thank you.”

“Try to get some sleep now, kitten,” Gabriel said.

Mary nodded and they left the room.

***

Once they were in bed, Sam sighed. “What are we going to do? There’s a chance all three of us will be killed…”

“Four of us,” Gabriel interrupted him.

“What?”

“All four of us,” he repeated.

“You’re coming with us?” They could certainly use him, but he’d thought...

Gabriel snorted. “Haven’t you been listening for the last month? Of course I’m coming with you! If Lucifer wants to get his hands on you, he’ll have to go through me! And like hell is he trashing the world my daughter has to grow up in!”

Sam kissed him fiercely. “Thank you,” he whispered, when he pulled away.

“We’ll beat him, Sammy, you’ll see,” Gabriel said.

Sam nestled against his side and allowed himself to believe it, for a few hours at least.


End file.
